Education
Honestly, some sayings really do get my goat. Not only do they get it, they humiliate it. They make my goat feel about so big (imagine something really small, or even better pick up a five pence piece and imagine that as a miniature goat and you should get the picture).
What I am speaking of is sayings like “It’s as boring as watching paint dry”. Now, as a part-time artist for many years, I find this particularly insulting; as insulting as the world found Leslie Ash’s face after her Skin rejuvenation thing went widly wrong and gave her horrendous fish lips. “–Listening to paint dry,” would be more apt. Or even “–watching a really boring friend intensely watching paint dry” would be better. But “–Like watching paint dry”? I can tell anyone who is not an artist that there is nothing more fantastical than watching your carefully placed brush-strokes harden and acquire their place in history, immortal and living forever.
Not that people who aren’t artists would understand that, of course, no, they are far too busy putting paint-watchers down. To those people I say “get a life losers!”
My plan to teach the world that watching paint dry is far from a dull thing to do? Well I intend to take this to the highest level of course. I already have a letter drafted which invites Obama to come and watch paint dry, and after that I expect the rest of the world to follow suit and paint-watching to become a new and fascinating thing in the hearts and minds of the public eye!