The Voice Of Authority
This post is about not chopping down trees. And I can assure you now that even if you barely ever think about chopping down trees it will be an astoundingly interesting post. I better get moving then–I’m running out of time!
I am stuck thinking about chopping down trees, seeing chainsaw wielding tree chopper-downers in my sleep and other such disturbing imagery, because of my neighbour. The one to the left of us who works for a chemical peel company (whatever it is they do…) and recently decided to chop down the big tree in his garden. How I hate that man there! The tree was fine until he came along. It gave life, love and warmth to dozens of little birds. But now look in his garden and see what has become of it. The tree is gone, the birds have nowhere to go, and damn my neighbour! The poor excuse for a human being.
The thing is, I couldn’t really give a monkey’s about the tree or the birds. The problem is this. Ever since their home was destroyed they have been camping out outside our bedroom window. And they wake me, the swines, every single morning with their darn chirping! Every morning leaving none untouched! I am quite simply sick of it and I don’t know what on earth to do.
I could just go up there and steal their nest, of course, but I’m afraid of birds. Near their nest is the last place I want to be–