Greg The Destroyer
The first time I saw a man with a pony-tail I flinched, then hid behind a wall. This was the closest I had ever come to a ponytail in the wild. I had seen them on TV, swaying dramatically and looking mean, but never in real life. I was unprepared, unknowledgeable about how to act around such a creature, and scared for my life. I waited until the figure walked away, then I calmed myself down before running away as fast as I could.
That was when my fascination with this most incredible of hair-do’s started. From that moment onwards I did as much research as I could, venturing to places where I knew I would be faced with a ponytail–
There was a pub down the road from me where a beast of a man with a beast of a ponytail was said to hang out. The beast’s name was Greg The Destroyer. Legend had it that he could break a man’s nose with one swing of his ponytail. So I went there, armed with my fake ponytail attached to my head: if I was going to get caught then I wanted to at least be caught in relative style–
I approached the window with caution and looked in: that was when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I span around and there he was: it was Greg The Destroyer, and he had a hand on his ponytail–just like John Wayne would have his hand on his gun–
“You looking for this?” he asked.
I said, “so what If I am?”
He said, “So what nothing. You like it?”
There was an awkward silence. I said, “It’s alright”. And that was when he saw my ponytail, reached down and ripped it off. The he started to laugh and I legged it.
I never did go back. But I if I meet Greg The Destroyer, he’s going to see he has some competition as I have booked an appointment at Laser Hair Removal Manchester!