Henrys Journal

The Voice Of Authority

This post is about not chopping down trees. And I can assure you now that even if you barely ever think about chopping down trees it will be an astoundingly interesting post. I better get moving then–I’m running out of time!

I am stuck thinking about chopping down trees, seeing chainsaw wielding tree chopper-downers in my sleep and other such disturbing imagery, because of my neighbour. The one to the left of us who works for a chemical peel company More

If

If I was the Prime Minister I suppose I would make emergency fuel delivery a simple thing: upon breaking down by the side of the road, a special helicopter would be called in to drop said fuel down (obviously not from too high up, we don’t want any explosions or petrol going everywhere…). I would aslo have to make it legal for everyone to consume at least three chocolate bars a day when above the age of four. Because getting More

I Get It But Still

Alright I accept it, there is a need for antique programs on day-time TV just as there is a need for breast enhancement for any woman wanting to go to Hollywood and make it big. I suppose there are millions of antiques gathering dust in attics all over the country, so there must be a demand for these kind of shows. But I have noticed a worrying trend and it appears to only be getting worse–It is that of the More

Pat / Pam

Pat Butcher. Pam St. Clements. Whatever name is familiar I’m sure you know who I’m on about; she was the one who would make a good candidate for Gastric band surgery. Need another hint? Well, she was Pauline Flowers arch-nemesis / sometimes best friend, of course, and in trouble more times per episode than any character ever was (apart from possibly Dot’s disastrous son Nasty Nick). Whatever you know her as, you know her as the backbone of never-less-than-grim More

Greg The Destroyer

The first time I saw a man with a pony-tail I flinched, then hid behind a wall. This was the closest I had ever come to a ponytail in the wild. I had seen them on TV, swaying dramatically and looking mean, but never in real life. I was unprepared, unknowledgeable about how to act around such a creature, and scared for my life. I waited until the figure walked away, then I calmed myself down before running away as More

Diving in Football

I have been watching plenty of Champions League football over the last few weeks and months and most of it has been great. The Champions League brings the best clubs in Europe together to compete against each other for the biggest prize in club football and some of the talent on display is unbelievable at times.

Rooney, Ronaldo, Lampard, Gerrard, Buffon and Lionel Messi are just some of the superstars who regularly feature in the Champions League with their respective More